I realize now that I have changed so much within the last year or two. People ask where the sweet, lovable, friendly little girl went. I always said "Good riddance". But I realize that she left when people started taking advantage of her. They started hitting me, picking on me, and just plain old putting me down. They never realized I was a person too. They never realized I had feelings. That little girl escaped to her own little world where everything was perfect, and sent out a doppelganger who was stronger than she was to face the world. Only she didn't realize that the girl she sent was going to get hurt also. Her heart was going to be hewn in two. Her life would fall apart around her. Things would show up and take a piece of her soul before they left. People would stab her in the back. Family would die. She would be invisible to everyone around her, trying to be noticed.
She still tries to be noticed, everything she does is a cry for attention. But she stops after a while, realizing that no one will ever notice a little girl like her. She turned to herself for help. All she found was hurt, long scarred over with years of lifting her chin and not showing what was inside of her. One by one, she'll open every single one of those scars and resolve the issues. But not now. She has other things to worry about.
That little girl is me.
The world is cruel. Music opened my eyes to the world out here. But my own little world is perfect. I just wish I could go home to it.
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